“The only bad decision is indecision,” is a trope regularly trotted out, and yet still, when it comes to our homes, indecision affects even the best of us. Tamsin Saunders of Home & Found calls it “analysis paralysis,” and Philip Hooper, joint managing director of Sibyl Colefax & John Fowler confesses to its being “a regular foe in the Hooper household,” ascribing the issue to “too many ideas and images assaulting my brain.” Certainly, in current climes, we’re blessed with such a wide array of everything that deciding on a paint colour or wallpaper, or cupboard handle or light switch, can occasionally feel overwhelming – “especially when you are seduced by what you see other people doing,” says Emma Burns, the other joint managing director of Sibyl Colefax & John Fowler. The potential expense of some interior features – installing fitted carpets, or a new kitchen – only increases the stakes, and it’s easy to find ourselves in a state of inertia whereupon nothing moves forward, and our inability to commit to a curtain fabric, or decide on type of heading, adds summer insomnia to the mix. It can become horribly anxiety-inducing, and such immobility can be expensive: sit on quotes from builders, and you may find that the delay has doubled the predicted cost. The question is how, when we’re stuck, do we move forward? And by what means can we ensure that the decision we make is one we won’t regret?
Remember you don't have to do it all at once, and it doesn't have to be perfect
It may seem counterintuitive to suggest slowing down, bearing in mind those building quotes, but the decrease in speed comes at the planning stage. Self-imposed deadlines often lead to a poor decision, which is a kick to the confidence and can be another root of indecision if it means you start second-guessing everything else. (I didn’t think through the external kitchen door thoroughly enough, and it opens straight into the bins - which is handy for putting out the rubbish, but less inviting when it comes to taking a morning coffee outside.) There’s a lot to be said for slow decorating; “if you take a long time to find the perfect colour or light, you can usually rest assured that when you finally make that decision, it will be the correct decision,” says Paula Sutton of Hill House Vintage, who has been finessing her house for fifteen years now.
Alongside, “you don’t need very much in a home for it to feel really wonderful,” says Tamsin, who urges us to buy once and buy well, and always save up for the real thing rather than impulse-purchasing imitations (remembering that faux ‘iconic’ chairs are high on the list of interior icks.) However, there are some ‘placeholder’ items that you might need; if you’re installing a bathroom and know that you want lights on either side of the mirror, wiring them in at the time rather than waiting until you have found the sconces of your dreams is going to reduce both cost and upheaval in the long run. “Not everything is going to be perfect, and that’s going to be part of the charm,” says Matilda Goad.
Planning is all, taste follows
And then, to return to the overwhelming breadth of options, “planning is all, taste follows, and if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll end up with less choice,” says Emma Burns. Tamsin points out that “you are never starting from scratch; remember who you are, what you are interested in, how you live, what you already have. Think about how to build on that and create a space that works for you and the life you really lead, while avoiding being swayed off-course by trends.” Brandon Schubert reminds us to consider the room itself; the direction it faces, the purpose it serves.
We can put that into practice: take the fitted carpet - is it also important as insulation, or do you simply want something soft underfoot? Are you aspiring to a specific look – such as sisal, or a patterned Brussels weave? Do you have children who never remember to remove their shoes, or a cat who will dig up a looser weave? Does the carpet need to be breathable? And what is your budget? As for the curtains - or blinds - do they need to perform architectural assistance, making the window seem wider, or taller? What other colours or patterns are in the room? Are you aiming for a particular feel – whether that’s elegance or calm or sweeping romance? And do they need a black-out element? Follow these rules and you may still end up with more than one option, but they’ll all be good options.
The bigger decisions and building work
Some choices are easily reversible. Repainting a room is dull, but doable (my bedroom has been four different colours in three years), and even a bespoke glass door can be turned around (though it’s more expensive than a tin of paint.) But there are things that you want to get mostly right the first time, specifically the big-ticket items, and anything involving external contractors and tradesmen.
For the former, if you are still doubting yourself or know yourself to have changeable taste, Nina Campbell advises ensuring that the most expensive pieces, e.g. a sofa, are in a neutral colour, pointing out that it’s cheaper to replace scatter cushions than seating.
For the latter, it again comes down to proper planning and research; do not imagine that you can figure it out as you go along, or you’ll end up with kitchen lights placed wherever your electrician thought was best, your kitchen floor will be decided by what’s available and in stock because you get a phone call telling you that “it has to go down tomorrow,” - and the external door will open the wrong way. If you are having a kitchen installed, or a bathroom, or having a room reskimmed and repainted or having walls taken down, make sure the proposed scheme includes everything, that you are fully aware of lead times, and when you are given a quote (or more ideally, three) ask how long that quote is valid for. And then, don’t sit on it - you’ve made the decision already, it’s simply a case of actioning it. (Having said all that, don’t beat yourself if you do get something wrong; instead, reframe it as a valuable lesson, and know that you are far from being alone.)
The surprising science of happiness (with your decision)
“There is no single right decision,” says Tamsin, and Philip backs this up when he mentions the Oblique Strategy Cards that Brian Eno used to use for overcoming paralysis in music. “I often think I should make a set for decorators,” says Philip. “There’d be options such as ‘make a list of everything you might do and do the last on the list’, ‘seek advice’, ‘use an old idea’, ‘use an unacceptable colour’ – you’d pick a card at random and follow the advice, letting fate take control.”
What is extraordinary it that ultimately, provided your decision fulfils the prerequisites of planning, there is evidence that such an approach will result in the same level of satisfaction as if you had been certain of a single idea. It is Brandon Schubert who introduced me to Dan Gilbert’s TED talk, entitled The Surprising Science of Happiness, in which Dan explains that due to our brain’s ability to synthesise happiness, over time our liking for owned objects increases, and liking for unowned objects decreases. “I think this is seriously important wisdom to live by, for it takes so much of the stress out of decision making,” says Brandon. It's not a new concept: “the great source of both the misery and disorders of human life seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another,” wrote Adam Smith in The Theory of Moral Sentiments in 1759. So stop umming and ahing over chintz or stripes, a Brussels weave or pile, or blue or green, and, in the continued absence of Philip’s proposed cards, toss a coin, or employ the Magic 8 Ball. “You can’t lose,” points out Brandon.
When to seek professional help
If you’re still stuck, “do as I do, and ask Emma Burns,” says Philip – demonstrating that there’s absolutely no shame is seeking professional help. So, if it does become too much, or if you stop enjoying it (please remember that decorating is meant to be fun) then employing an interior designer is undoubtedly your best bet for finding a way forward. Handily, we’ve got some excellent recommendations: the June issue of House & Garden, on newsstands now, includes this year’s Top 100.
